What's the first thing that caused depression for you?

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There's always a first time for everything. A lot of people suffer from depression for one reason or another and it can be just anything. A lady friend of mine had her first depression as a result of her pregnancy.

What made you depressed for the first time?
 
It is hard to chalk it down to just one an exact thing. I think for me was a cocktail of a lot of things going on inside and outside my head.

Outside: I had drama with my first relationship, with my best friend, disagreements with my parents. School career wasn't what I thought it'd be. My brother and I's dynamic was shifting.

On the inside: I was like an empty vessel putting everyone else's definitions and expectations of me, but things were going sideways because at some point I had set standards so high that I was incapable of maintaining them. I didn't know how to deal with that, I "always" had been able to keep up. I felt like I wasn't a fraction of what I SHOULD be. I couldn't understand why I couldn't just power through so I would lash at myself. I felt guilty for any thought that didn't align to the idealized version of myself I had erected for everyone to see.
 
The first thing that got me depressed was in my first year in high school. I had put in all the efforts and I believed that I would top my class. Even the rumors before the result announcement was pointing to the fact that I would top the class. But a guy just edged me out with just two marks to top the class. That led me to being depressed on how I missed out by just two marks. I cried that day.
 
My first depression was when I left my country. And I had to start living outside of my culture. I felt like grabbing a fist and put it on earth to learn to walk from
one day to the next without return. One-way trip. ( I was born in Cuba, a communist government where freedom of speech and everything is prohibited, where you go to jail any day they want for any reason they choose)
 
Mine started after losing my first job during COVID. That period was so tough for me and my family. I used to wake up early with nowhere to go, just overthinking . It’s a tough feeling, and I don’t wish it for anyone. But talking with friends and family helped a lot. It's a pity that in my own country we don’t really talk about mental health much, but it’s real. Sometimes even just taking a walk or taking small helps can make a big difference.
 
One of the things that first caused depression for me was loosing my dad, and since then well it has been one issue or the other.
Sorry to hear about your dad's passing. Sorry for your loss. May God grant your dad eternal peace. My mom died when I was 6 years old and my dad died too one year after my graduation at the university. It hurts but I wasn't depressed. That's the reality of life we have to face squarely.
 
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